The Horrific Book-To-Film Adaptations Support Group
by BekdeMontfort
Summary: After their book-to-film adaptations graced the big screen, our favourite book characters were left feeling used, abused, and forever scarred. Where do they turn to? The Horrific Book-To-Film Adaptations Support Group. Starring Edmund and Lucy Pevensie, Aang, Eragon, Percy Jackson, Frodo Baggins, and your beloved narrator-turned-therapist.


**Well, hello again! So this is just a little thing because I haven't uploaded anything in a while...**

**I got the idea from the JMOMS "Taylor Swift Support Group" skit, and its just a little thing about how some of our favourite characters would need therapy after some of the traumatic movie adaptation they were put through. **

**Obviously I own none of these characters. No, really. I'm just bored.**

"Excellent, I believe we are all here," I clapped, smiling warmly at the characters fidgeting on their chairs. "I'm so proud of you all for coming. This is a big step you have taken today. Attending this Horrific Book-To-Film Adaptations support group will help you to vent out your frustrations. You can heal. It does get better! Who would like to go first? Stand up, and give your name."

There was an awkward silence, and then slowly a boy with a shaved head stood up and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Umm...hi, I guess. My name is Aang. Not 'Ung'...it's Aang."

"Hell _Aang_," The other characters droned.

"Um, yeah, I'm Aang, and I had a horrific move adaptation."

There was applause all around the circle. Aang smiled and sighed with relief.

"That was very brave, Aang," I congratulated him. "Do you think you are ready to talk about it?"

"Well...it was just...like..." He paused and breathed out slowly. "It was just...it was like they didn't even try, you know? They completely killed our characters, and the child actors couldn't act, and my tattoo looked like some strange deformity, and Zuko's scar wasn't even really there, none of them looked like us, the bending was just pathetic, and the scripts were terrible, and—"

"It's ok, Aang," I cut in, nodding in concern. "There were many traumatic things about 'The Last Airbender'. You must remember that it is just images on a screen. They cannot do you physical harm. But that was very brave, Aang. Let's have a round of applause for Aang."

The clapping lasted a few seconds. Red faced and shivering, Aang took his seat once more.

"Now, who wants to go next?"

A brown haired, elvish looking boy seated on a blue dragon looked around, shrugged, and then stood.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Eragon—"

"Hello, _Eragon,_" The group intoned.

"Uh, hi. Any way, I'm Eragon and this is Sapphire, and we had a horrific movie adaptation."

"Very good, Eragon!" I congratulated, clapping along with the rest of the group. "Is there anything you want to share?"

"Just that I am NOT as stupid as they made me out to be, Galbatorix is NOT American, Arya kicks WAY more ass, and as to that 'romantic tension' we have in the movie, I would like to stress that she didn't even LIKE me at first!" Eragon frowned and tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Grudgingly, though, I must admit that casting Jeremy Irons as Brom was a brilliant move."

"See, everyone?" I smiled brightly at him. "There is a silver lining in every storm cloud! Excellent attitude, Eragon!"

"Although," Eragon's frown deepened. "They DID kill of the Ra'zac—"

"Thank you, Eragon," I cut in once more, smiling as falsely as I could manage. "I think someone _else _can share now. Ah...Percy, how about you?"

Percy stood up shakily.

"I ah...I um...I'm Percy Jackson—"

"Hello _Percy._"

"—and I only just saw my movie adaptations, and I'm still kind of in shock, so I don't think I kind talk about them yet...but the _killed _the plot lines, and the characters, and the overall _feel_, and—"

Eragon reached over and patted him on the shoulder.

"Dude, we're here for you."

Percy hyperventilated for a full minute before he calmed down and waved at me to move on.

"Ah...ok...well, then..."

"We'll go next!" Two children, a boy and a girl, stood from their chairs.

"Hello! I'm Lucy—"

"Hello, _Lucy_."

"And I'm Edmund—"

"Hello, _Edmund._"

"—And 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' was..." Edmund tried, and then stopped, exhaling a shaky breath.

"It was...it was..." Lucy attempted.

They looked at each other, and promptly burst into hysterics.

"I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE IT! GREEN MIST? WHAT THE HELL?"

"AND...AND STUPID SWORDS...AND THEY CHANGED 'DEATHWATER ISLAND' TO 'GOLD WATER ISLAND'...no, seriously, look at the map in the bonus features..."

"WHY WERE WE CHASING SWORDS ANYWAY? ISN'T IT COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FOR ASLAN TO HAVE CASUALLY BEEN HANDING OUT ANCIENT AND POWERFUL SWORDS TO RANDOM TERLMARINES? WHAT DID THE SWORDS EVEN DO BESIDES KEEP AWAY THE GREEN MIST?"

"AND WHY WERE THEY FEEDING PEOPLE TO THE MIST IN THE FIRST PLACE? DID THE MIST ATTACK THEM, OR DID IT JUST...SIT THERE AND LOOK SCARY? WHY DID THE MIST WANT PEOPLE? IT JUST KEPT THEM UNHARMED IN BOATS! IT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"It's alright!" I stepped in smoothly. "Those around Edmund and Lucy, please confort them with affirming words."

"It will be alright."

"Gresham took back the rights, there will be no more. You are safe!"

"You _can _get better!"

Lucy's snobs subsided into sniffles, and Edmund's breathing resumed a healthier pace. Everyone sat back down in their chairs.

"Right, let's have one more person before we end for today. What's your name?"

A little man with curly brown hair stood up.  
"Hey guys, I'm Frodo Baggins, and I don't know why I'm here. My movies were AWESOME!"

"WHAT?"

"GET OUT!  
"THE GREEN MIST!"

Frodo held up his hand and smirked evilly.

"Come on, guys. Admit it. 'The Lord of the Rings' was fantastic! The set, the costumes, the effects, Viggo Mortenssen...there is no way Peter Jackson could ever make a bad Tolkien movie."

"Oh yeah?" Percy challenged. "Not even...'The Hobbit' movies?"

"Which they split into three movies," Eragon added.

"Three movies that, judging by the first two, are going to be bloated, slow, and have no relevance to the source material?" Aang finished.

Frodo frowned and tapped his chin.

"Oh yes, 'The Hobbit'," He snapped his fingers. "That's why I'm here."

**Yeah...so that kind of happened. **

**So that was my little thing. I hope you liked it! And if you didn't...well, who asked you?**


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